Meaning:
“小丑” means “clown,” “竟” is an expression of surprise, and “是我自己” means “is myself.” This saying, coined by Chinese netizens, can be translated as “It turns out that I am a clown.” A popular meme on Chinese social media often used together with a clown emoji, this saying is used in self-deprecation, usually when the speaker realizes that their selfless devotion to someone they have a crush on is unrequited.
Example:
A: 你周末陪丽丽看电影去了吗？
Nǐ zhōumò péi lìlì kàn diànyǐng qù le ma？
Did you go to the movies with Li Li over the weekend?
B: 她让我买了两张电影票，跟闺蜜看电影去了。小丑竟是我自己。
Tā ràng wǒ mǎi le liǎngzhāng diànyǐngpiào，gēn guīmì kàn diànyǐng qù le。Xiǎochǒu jìng shì wǒ zìjǐ。
She asked me to book two tickets but went with her bestie. I felt like a clown.