Two sides of a coin: kid-friendly and no-kid zones

Chinese woman writer Su Xiaolan (pen name for Su Shanshan) found herself the initiator of a hot-trending subject on Sina Weibo, a Twitter-style social media, last week after she posted about feeling offended by an encounter with a staffer on the train from Guangzhou to Zhuhai.

She complained with the railway authorities that the staffer reminded her twice prior to boarding and during the trip “to make sure her child behaves,” when in fact her child behaved all the time. “He was sitting in his seat quietly drawing the whole journey,” Su said. She added that she noticed the staffer gave the same reminder to all other passengers traveling with a child, in spite of the fact that the train carriage was quite noisy at the time, not because of rambunctious children but because many adults were talking loudly on the phone, playing music on their phone’s speakers or simply chatting.

“Why sort out passengers with children to remind while many adults need reminding?” she asked, thinking the staffer was being discriminatory.

The unexpected turn came after Su posted her experience on social media, and then some strangers left abusive comments telling her to “leave China” or even “die.”

Many others criticized her for “being oversensitive and overreacting.” “The staffer was just doing their job,” they said.

Faced with a declining birthrate, China, entering an aging society, has witnessed many policies from local governments trying to encourage births and tip the scale of aging. Many cities, including Shenzhen, have proposed to build a “children-friendly society.”

The discussion started by Su revealed an awkward moment of revelation of how difficult it is to be a parent these days. Many trains also remind people on the radio that they should take their children to the conjoined parts of the carriages if the noise they make annoys other passengers, some netizens said.

Such discussions also expose how polarized and intolerant different demographics of our society could become.

We are agreed that there are places that children of a young age should be banned, such as in a concert hall. Similarly, it is a terrible experience for adult animation fans to sit through a Pixar film among noisy children.

That said, many concert halls, including the one in Shenzhen, have come up with suitable contents, sometimes accompanied by screen projections of picture books or animation film footages, for families with young children.

While the Cleveland Clinic, a non-profit academic medical center, defines pedophobia as a psychological disorder where people develop an irrational fear of babies and small children, most people in society who express their dislike for children around are simply under life’s other pressures and prefer to be left alone.

In addition to kid-free restaurants and bars, airlines and cruises have made similar attempts in recent years to cater to the need of such adult clients.

For example, Malaysia-based AirAsia X has a “Quiet Zone” encompassing rows 7–14 available only to passengers who are at least 10 years old. The airline’s website states that this area has “gentle ambient lighting,” early meal service and “minimal noise with no disturbances.” Some test searches show these seats are available for an additional US$25–$55 per person. Similarly, Viking Cruises, with a focus to serve middle-aged customers “who appreciate culture, history, music, art, and relaxation,” require guests to be at least 18 years old by their departure date.

A screenshot from a promotional video made by Malaysia-based AirAsia X shows that a "Quiet Zone" is designated for each aircraft and is only available to passengers who are at least 10 years old. File photo

In fact, whether they have the most mild-mannered of children or the most rambunctious, many parents are willing to admit they too savor a kid-free zone every now and then.

But as a culture, are we becoming less and less tolerant of kids?

With many parents juggling work and home life, they don’t often have much choice about bringing the children along if they want to get out of the house.

Rather than excluding children from the public life, businesses should become more kid-friendly to keep them from causing a scene. For instance, restaurants can set up a kids’ area and offer children a kit full of crayons and paper to keep them occupied and happy.

On public transport facilities, perhaps the management can follow the example of AirAsia X and provide quietness for a premium, so that people can pay for the extra comfort of hassle-free travel.

On the other hand, parents do need to make sure that their children behave age-appropriately and try as much as they can to reduce their impact on fellow citizens in public.

It takes a village to raise a kid, and every adult was once a kid. Children, like other age groups, certain genders, or the physically disabled, should feel welcome in this society. Whichever demographic we belong in, we’d better walk in other people’s shoes and try to be tolerant, which is the only way we get along and live in peace.

(The author is a Features Department editor with Shenzhen Daily.)